Many people are afraid of being vulnerable. We encourage strength and stoicism in dealing with problems, particularly for men, and the idea of allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and expose our weaknesses is contrary to almost everything we’re taught to believe. But suffering in silence is a terrible way to treat addiction and will generally lead only to failure and relapse, not any sort of true recovery. By embracing vulnerability, the addict can begin the process of healing through authenticity and find a lasting recovery.
Connotations of vulnerability
Vulnerability doesn’t have the greatest rap. The word is seen as a synonym for weakness, portrayed as a flaw to be protected against or rid of. For men, this can be especially true. They’re told from a young age that big boys don’t cry, encouraged to suppress painful emotions and push through difficulties without any acknowledgement of what it might cost psychologically.
This can be especially bad for a recovering addict. Stoicism serves, not as a sign of strength, but as a mask covering up pain, making it difficult for others to know when you need help. Refusing to admit to any vulnerability can dissuade some addicts from seeking out treatment at all, and others delay it far past any logical time rather than be seen as weak or foolish.
Yet addiction treatment needs the patient to admit to their problems and confront what caused them and vulnerability is an important part of that process.
How being vulnerable can aid recovery
To be vulnerable can be seen as admitting weakness, but we all have weak points. None of us is perfectly self-reliant and independent. And to try and stand alone in the face of overwhelming odds is not a healthy reaction, but a dangerous and self-destructive urge.
Rather, embracing vulnerability is to let others in, to allow them to see our emotional pain and suffering and ask them to help us to repair that damage and begin the healing process.
Addiction treatment urges this approach in many ways. Therapy often asks the patient to discuss their feelings, their failings and concerns and pain, and offer it up for assessment. Group sessions, in particular, allow the various patients to share with one another and be vulnerable with each other, allowing them to form connections that blind stoicism would cut off before they even began.
Healing cannot happen in a vacuum, which is what a simple-minded reliance on lonely strength creates emotionally. Vulnerability lets in the air, metaphorically, and provides the patient with a chance to reveal what they need emotionally and receive it from others.
Next steps and embrace vulnerability
At Good Landing Recovery, vulnerability is seen as an important part of the therapeutic process, encouraged to help the patient find their path forward and connect with others to help them along the way. Treatment helps the patient embrace that vulnerability and allow the authenticity of their true feelings to help begin the healing process.
For that is what vulnerability does: it promotes authenticity. Stoicism is often a lie, a front to conceal pain and suffering. Your authentic self is behind that shell, and only by embracing vulnerability can that self be seen.
It’s not an admission of failure to embrace vulnerability, but the beginning of true strength and discovering one’s self through the authenticity revealed by doing so. Embracing vulnerability to start healing through authenticity is a powerful method of finding recovery. With help from Good Landing, you can get started today.
