Editor’s Note: 2025 Update
This article has been reviewed and updated in 2025 to reflect the latest research and guidance on recognizing the signs that a loved one may need help with substance use. All data cited comes from trusted, non-commercial institutions.
When Your Loved One Needs More Than Just a Talk
It is hard to admit that someone you care about may be struggling with substance use. You might hope that what you’re seeing is just a phase or stress. But certain patterns of change often point to something deeper, something that requires help beyond encouragement alone. Noticing these signs early can make a meaningful difference.
If your loved one is struggling with addiction, they still might not readily admit it. They might mistakenly feel they have it under control. They may be too ashamed to admit to their addiction. They might wrongly assume they can quit at any time. They will not reach out to get the help they need. They will need you to bring help to them. But first, you must recognize they need that help and that requires you to pay attention to your loved one and their situation.
But how, you wonder, can you know? How can you discover what ails them and realize what they’re confronting?
What “Needing Help” Really Means
Addiction affects not only behavior, but it also impacts the brain, health, relationships, and future. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) defines a substance use disorder (SUD) as a condition in which continued use of a substance leads to clinically and functionally significant impairment.
When you observe patterns like continued use despite harm, denial, or loss of control, it may be time to act.
How do you know when your loved one needs help?
There is no one way to determine your loved one is struggling with addiction – every addict’s struggle with addiction is similar, but unique in its own ways. But there are certain signs that addicts tend to display when in the thrall of addiction, and seeing those present in your loved one’s life, particularly if they multiply over time.
Here are the possible signs of addiction you may observe to determine if your loved ones needs an intervention to find help for their struggle:
- Personality Changes
A once vivid persona may become sluggish or apathetic. Your loved one may show a sudden lack of motivation, display increased irritability or agitation. Such changes in personality can be a sign of the struggle with addiction and can get increasingly more prominent as the addiction worsens. - Bloodshot Eyes
Addiction can often take a physical toll, as well. In the grip of addiction, your loved one may display bloodshot eyes or frequent bloody noses. - Tremors
In addition, other physical behaviors may be observed. Your loved one’s addiction symptoms could include shaking, tremors or even slurred speech. While such behavior is often associated with a stroke or other medical emergency, long-time addicts can demonstrate similar behaviors from frequent exposure to their drug of choice. - Sudden Changes in Routine
Perhaps you know your loved one can always be found at a certain place at a certain time. And then, one day, they’re not there. Or the next. And other common behaviors they’ve always indulged in fall by the wayside. Such behavior could be a sign of any number of things – a sudden love affair, a change in employment or other activity – but in concert with other symptoms, it could be a sign of addiction and accompanying struggles. - Hygiene
An addict in the thrall of his addiction can become increasingly careless of anything not involving his addiction and the need to feed it. This can include personal hygiene. An addict can show increasingly poor hygiene as their addiction worsens. - Financial problems
A worsening addiction can cost money and present an addict with unusual money issues and shortages of funds. If your loved one is short of cash, in ways they weren’t before, and is hitting you or other family members up for money frequently, this could be a sign of an addiction and accompanying issues.
None of these symptoms are foolproof signs of addiction. Any of them alone or even in concert could be a sign of some other issue or problem.
But taken all together, they are a good indication that addiction faces your loved one and they need help.
What You Can Do Right Now
- Educate yourself about addiction so you can speak with clarity and compassion.
- Begin a calm, loving conversation, express concern using “I” statements rather than blame.
- Encourage professional evaluation while recognizing you cannot force someone into change.
- Set healthy boundaries while staying emotionally present.
- Seek support for yourself; your well-being matters too.
Choosing Hope Over Denial
Seeing the signs that your loved one needs help is not judgment; it’s compassion in action. Acknowledging the challenge, offering your support, and encouraging professional care can change the direction of their life. At Good Landing Recovery we believe that with truth, clear boundaries, and hope rooted in faith, healing is possible. You do not have to walk this path alone.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How many warning signs need to be present before I should act?
A: There is no fixed number. The more persistent the signs and the more areas of life affected (health, work, relationships), the stronger the case for seeking help. Early intervention improves prospects.
Q: My loved one says they are “in control” and it’s not a serious issue. What do I do?
A: A person can believe they are in control while still meeting clinical criteria for a substance use disorder. Focus on observable patterns, such as loss of control, refusal to stop despite harm, or neglect of responsibilities, rather than arguments about “control.”
Q: Should I wait for my loved one to hit rock bottom before talking to them?
A: No. Waiting until things “get worse” often means more damage done. Many clinicians and support texts suggest initiating a calm conversation once the signs are clear, and then encourage a professional assessment rather than waiting.
Q: What if I set boundaries and my loved one reacts negatively?
A: Negative reactions can be expected. Setting boundaries is not about punishment; it’s about protection. Reactions do not mean you’ve done wrong. Maintaining clear limits while offering care is both valid and helpful.
Q: Can I help without enabling?
A: Yes. Helping is different from enabling. Helping may include offering support, listening, assisting with resources. Enabling is often covering up consequences, giving money that may be used for substances, or ignoring destructive behavior. Educating yourself and maintaining healthy boundaries help ensure your actions support recovery rather than enable the problem.