Editor’s Note: 2025 Update
This article has been reviewed in 2025 to reflect the latest research and best practices on helping a spouse enter addiction recovery. All data and guidance are drawn from trusted, non‑commercial sources.
Get your spouse the help they need
Helping a spouse move toward recovery is a deeply emotional process. You want to support them, protect your marriage, and find healing together, but you may feel powerless right now. This guide offers practical, faith‑grounded strategies based on research and real‑world experience.
Understand the Role You Can Play
Many treatment models now recognize that addiction affects not only the individual but the family system. According to a review by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), involving family members in treatment is associated with improved engagement, retention, and outcomes.
Your role is not to “rescue” but to invite and create a healthier environment for change.
Use Evidence‑Based Methods
One of the most well‑researched methods is Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT). Studies show this approach can increase treatment entry rates to 40 %‑86 % when compared to more traditional interventions.
CRAFT helps you develop skills like positive communication, setting boundaries, and reinforcing healthy behavior. This is especially important when your spouse may be refusing treatment.
Practical Steps You Can Take
Here are actionable steps you can begin implementing:
- Educate yourself about addiction and recovery. Knowledge gives you clearer understanding and less fear.
- Set healthy boundaries in your marriage: financial limits, visitation expectations, obligations. Boundaries are not punishments, they are protections for both of you.
- Encourage your spouse to enter treatment by emphasizing hope and restoration rather than guilt or shame.
- Create an environment that reinforces recovery: remove triggers when possible, encourage healthy routines, invite connection to positive community.
- Find support for yourself. You cannot walk this alone. Family‑friend groups, faith communities, and therapy help you stay grounded. Research confirms that family involvement helps your spouse and also benefits you.
When to Choose Professional Help
You and your spouse should strongly consider professional intervention if any of the following apply:
- Multiple failed attempts to stop using substances
- Co‑occurring mental health conditions (e.g., anxiety, depression)
- Legal or medical crises related to substance use
- Detox or withdrawal risks present in these situations, professional rehab provides structured care, safety, and evidence‑based therapies your spouse may not receive elsewhere.
Faith and Marriage Recovery
Your faith can be a powerful grounding force during this time. In your role as spouse, you can model love, forgiveness, and hope. Scripture invites couples to carry one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2) and to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).
Encourage your spouse to lean on both professional treatment and spiritual renewal. Recovery is rarely just physical, it involves transformation of the heart, mind, and relationships.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: My spouse refuses to go to rehab. What should I do?
A: You can start with compassion, education, and honest discussion. Encourage them gently and show care without enabling. Seek support yourself and think about a future conversation when the time is right.
Q: What if I need to set ultimatums or threaten consequences?
A: Some experts suggest that consistent, loving boundaries can help. Rather than threats, focus on clear expectations and follow through. CRAFT‑based trainings emphasize positive reinforcement and safe boundaries.
Q: Are faith‑based rehab programs more effective than secular ones?
A: The research does not conclusively show one type always outperforms the other. What matters most are the elements: evidence‑based care, community support, and your spouse’s engagement. Choose the program that aligns with your values and recovery goals.
Q: How long will the process take?
A: There is no fixed timeframe. Recovery and relationship healing happen over weeks, months, and often years. Consistency, support, therapy, and faith all play a role.
